There's a part of me that wants to tire of all this
the not knowing, the taut glances, the silent fear
For I didn't envision
a gaping chasm between hearts
when I grabbed your hand late that night
Then, all I saw was the light from your eyes
And my youth mistook it for
the end of darkness
How could I have known
that the dancing flames
lighting our long path
would cast shadows
long and deep?
I didn't think about the days when
one of us would be in front
slicing the tall grass with dull blade
while the other followed, crunching seed heads.
Nor could I have imagined the circles
our feet would trace
to avoid the center line
But the truth remains
You push me past the usual loving
And I would have never been content
in the knowing of that
in the beginning
goodness...that last three lines just floored me. amazing.
ReplyDeleteSigh...not often do I feel speechless, but your words my friend, the visions of self they play in full H.D. leave me stunned. I think of you often without ever having met you face to face because I desire to weave this emotion I feel into word poetry the way you do. I'm unsure of the story layered within your words above, but I feel them heavy and tragic. I am a know-er of suffering love that cannot imagine un-knowing itself because there is in the end more beauty than pain. He pain may haunt, and it does, but the love cuts deeper still. Yes, past the usual loving, the usual definitions so over used. I just told a friend this morning that it is well past time to redefine some things.
ReplyDeleteDo you ever long for five love's like the Greek so wisely has. How do you define all and every and the myriad of ways and emotiona with the one we have. This Holly defines so much. It embraces love, redeeming. You have carved out and circled round a lovely poem of love. This is a favorite.
ReplyDeleteThank you friend.
ReplyDeleteYes, Yes, "there is in the end more beauty than pain." That is EXACTLY what I was driving at, trying to express, praying to convince myself of... You get me, friend. You totally get me.
ReplyDeleteOh, howI long for such expression... yes. Thank you for seeing what I was humbling trying to convey...a poem of love.
ReplyDeleteThis Holly: And I would have never been content
ReplyDeletein the knowing of that
in the beginning
Its the thing about the commitment if marriage that I so long to communicate to those not yet there but cannot seem to put into words. So lovely and soul stirring.
Holly, my husband and I will be married 40 years this July, my son and his wife celebrate 13 years in May. Your thoughts apply, no matter the decade....if we knew the trying, the stretching, the testing--''pushing past the usual loving" that would come after the "I do's" we would quit at the end of the aisle. God in his grace and because of his glue gets all the glory for any of the good that comes from our being married. It's all God. (forgive the alliteration...couldn't help myself.) This was great.
ReplyDeleteHolly, I could spend all day catching up on your words here. The poetry and the prose telling this story still being written. I love this one especially.
ReplyDelete