I've been quiet for a while now.
The last few weeks have pressed in on me, one atop the other, until it became a bit hard to breathe. And as the days stacked upon each other, it became a little darker and where I was holed up became a little tighter.
But time is a healer and night turns into day and miracles are all around us.
I know this for there is one inside of me right now.
And what else could I do but fall to my knees and whisper "Glory" when just days after I let go of that secret wish for more babies that I had carried down deep and had, instead, begun making plans to close the door to my womb, I found myself harboring life at its very beginning?
What else is there to be but humbled at the realization that there are plans for my life that go beyond my understanding? Plans full of care and hope?
It is in this place of complete stupor-wonder-confusion-awe-and-fear that my husband and I have been dwelling.
Life is this marvelous happening and the two ends of its coil dance in and around each other inside of each day's very spin and here we are, privy to its every facet. The truth of this can, sometimes, truly overwhelm.
And so, these weeks in which I have been quiet have found me murmuring, over and over,
"So, how then shall I live?"
Because, I have been embedded with the glory dust of heaven and that, my friends, is no small thing. And as the worries and concerns and plans of this world continue to swirl around my head, it is growing inside of me, this budding joy, this holy wonder.
So, I believe the right and fitting thing to do is to declare my life as
Crazy Wonderful.
For that is what it is.